Nowadays, I steer clear of a balanced love-life ... Maybe it's disinterest, or the lack of time. Maybe I avoid feelings 'cause of the 'dysutopia' I figure of love in lieu of less-than-stellar past experiences with men. Probably a combination involving all three where I'm stranded at a crossroads attempting to unlock.
Once I began inheriting familiar, yet alien emotions for somebody, I was spooked ... I somehow believed I could control these feelings, until I fully evolved being prepared and ready for love and relationships. Which I consider quite acceptable and understandable considering everything I've been through. I'm still acclimating to the idea and possible presence of real love, but I'm making definite progress on my quest; It's been quite a while since I opened this lock, the deadbolt to my heart.
New guy, new guy ... "Leo". Leo's not perfect, but I'm not perfect either; Perfectly imperfect. He's intelligent, sexy, and doesn't underestimate my anything regardless that I'm a ditz. He understands me, embraces the me I am. When I style "innocence", he looks beyond the label and openly admires what I'm capable of.
Once I began inheriting familiar, yet alien emotions for somebody, I was spooked ... I somehow believed I could control these feelings, until I fully evolved being prepared and ready for love and relationships. Which I consider quite acceptable and understandable considering everything I've been through. I'm still acclimating to the idea and possible presence of real love, but I'm making definite progress on my quest; It's been quite a while since I opened this lock, the deadbolt to my heart.
New guy, new guy ... "Leo". Leo's not perfect, but I'm not perfect either; Perfectly imperfect. He's intelligent, sexy, and doesn't underestimate my anything regardless that I'm a ditz. He understands me, embraces the me I am. When I style "innocence", he looks beyond the label and openly admires what I'm capable of.
We're quite fond of hugging, holding hands and hanging out ... The three "H's" that're whipped up per a decent relationship. The fourth "H", "however", joins the party while I guarantee you we are not there yet. I've got all these qualities substantiating the hope I could turn this into a relationship, but his girlfriend has the relationship and's hoping to inherit the qualities; Which draws a great conundrum for modern relationships ... Which comes first; The steak or the sex?
Whoops ... Didn't I mention that Leo has a girlfriend? The cat's out the bag! Are you stunned that I tossed "girlfriend" out there and so abruptly? Now you're understanding the dilemma I'm contending with. Leo's got a gal who I think he cares about a lot, who's a sweetheart, despite what I predominately hear about the chick and I couldn't bare to act on all these feelings right now. I'm in a total rut. I'm battling what I truly wish to do, all with what's considered "appropriate" and I should be doing. Which explains the complete spook...
...Confused? Take a number, Suburbians! Here's the thing; He's not a dickhead nor a player. He's subtle and so sweet. This's the absolute worst timing. I guess timing is everything as Miranda Hobbes would nod in total agreement. But, I'm not condemned from wondering. Could it happen ... Will it happen?
...Confused? Take a number, Suburbians! Here's the thing; He's not a dickhead nor a player. He's subtle and so sweet. This's the absolute worst timing. I guess timing is everything as Miranda Hobbes would nod in total agreement. But, I'm not condemned from wondering. Could it happen ... Will it happen?
Great piece Molly ... Keep us posted as this begins to evolve.
ReplyDelete-Stacy.