"The Freak Shows"

New York, for our forefathers, the gateway to all hope ... Happiness, opportunities and possibilities, beyond all their wildest dreams. Today, that particular hope still has a heartbeat. It's called "The First Date".

On Saturday night(s), every restaurant in Lower Manhattan, resembles its own Ellis Island ... Herds of single girls everywhere, crowded into a very hot, and cramped space. All carrying the hope of arriving at their Final Destinations : The State of Matrimony. Or, at least to get a warm meal on the transit. A 'lotta dudes don't believe in "First Dates" ... However, millions believe in the sex right after it. Like all we're worth is a meal and a nut.

"First Dates" are complete freakshows ... Maybe, freakshows should never have been outlawed. At least there, all these freaks are shackled together by their own freakiness. Now they're free, roaming among us. Is it true? Are all men freaks?

"Friends Without Benefits"

This's definitely a (in)famous question, where the response stays indicative of experience and one's opinions ... Could a guy and a gal be friends, without any feelings or desire for gear shifting? I think yes. I'm not over-thinking the conundrum nor allowing contrary-based tales to sway my thoughts. 

There are a lot of guy/gal friendships, which are not affiliated with lust or sex. There's not a "Homosexuality-Barrier" requirement either for this relationship to function, and turnout great, fulfilling and trusting. However, these barriers aren't rare cases and they are completely normal; It's not this packaged deal you cosign at Casa De Lesbo though, it's simply random.

You don't need to experiment with the other white meat, Suburbians ... If you're a straight gal, you are a straight gal; If you're a straight guy, you are a straight guy. And the Friendzone explains why a guy/gal friendship doesn't have to necessarily end up in the bedroom. If a guy and a gal are strictly friends, they have Friendzoned one another, out of a mutual respect and other factors. I've Friendzoned a man who, in return, has Friendzoned me. That's a nonverbal agreement incorporated, and I can't imagine experiencing any non-platonic feelings for him ever.

And yes, I've got other guy friends who per choice, I'll never date.

It's impossible for an individual to believe and to think every inter-gender friendship climaxes with a climax ... It's simpler than most think, because they are influenced by contrary-based evidence. If you catch a wave of feelings for a friend, there's probably an underlying cause. But, yet again, Friends Without Benefits is real.

"Critical Conditions"

Usually, I'm the gal who considers all destructive and negative judgment ... I'm known for being weird. I speak of my cats a bit often. I act sloppy yet I'm not fond of drinking, and have never and will never touch a drug. I wear glasses and my complexion isn't the clearest one that's out there. I'm known for the strange brother (Meanwhile, the guy's autistic), and attaining a shitty track-record with men.

I chase assholes, and I'm known for that; I get unnecessary 'mercy-sympathy' from my girls when a love interest, is up on his woman clear as day. But, I'm never bitter or petty. I hope that he's happy, and her too.

However, I'm known for great stuff, too. I'm known for being caring ... I've been informed I'll make a fabulous mother, and a loving gal for the right guy. I'm known for using various forms of creative writing, as I question the Suburbs and write lyric per the right occasion. I've got desirable theater talent, a knack for interpreting roles. Although the negatives are seemingly perpetually center stage, I'm proud of everything that I've accomplished positively.

Why are we continuously believing the negative stuff that's said about us? Regardless the evidence which plays for the contrary, a ex-boyfriend, a face or a neighbor can cancel out everything we once believed to be true. In the matters of life and too love, why are our worst reviews the ones we listen to?

No one's "perfect". Don't strive for perfection either; It's a truly dangerous sport of self-obsession. Don't lose sight of yourself to please those who aren't worth pleasing, who perpetuate negative stereotypes and ridicule everyone's imperfections and shortcomings ... Brand yourself, perfection and sameness are dull, and you're unique being you.

"33, 35, 25 ... Open My Heart"

Nowadays, I steer clear of a balanced love-life ... Maybe it's disinterest, or the lack of time. Maybe I avoid feelings 'cause of the 'dysutopia' I figure of love in lieu of less-than-stellar past experiences with men. Probably a combination involving all three where I'm stranded at a crossroads attempting to unlock.

Once I began inheriting familiar, yet alien emotions for somebody, I was spooked ... I somehow believed I could control these feelings, until I fully evolved being prepared and ready for love and relationships. Which I consider quite acceptable and understandable considering everything I've been through. I'm still acclimating to the idea and possible presence of real love, but I'm making definite progress on my quest; It's been quite a while since I opened this lock, the deadbolt to my heart.

New guy, new guy ... "Leo". Leo's not perfect, but I'm not perfect either; Perfectly imperfect. He's intelligent, sexy, and doesn't underestimate my anything regardless that I'm a ditz. He understands me, embraces the me I am. When I style "innocence", he looks beyond the label and openly admires what I'm capable of.

We're quite fond of hugging, holding hands and hanging out ... The three "H's" that're whipped up per a decent relationship. The fourth "H", "however", joins the party while I guarantee you we are not there yet. I've got all these qualities substantiating the hope I could turn this into a relationship, but his girlfriend has the relationship and's hoping to inherit the qualities; Which draws a great conundrum for modern relationships ... Which comes first; The steak or the sex?

Whoops ... Didn't I mention that Leo has a girlfriend? The cat's out the bag! Are you stunned that I tossed "girlfriend" out there and so abruptly? Now you're understanding the dilemma I'm contending with. Leo's got a gal who I think he cares about a lot, who's a sweetheart, despite what I predominately hear about the chick and I couldn't bare to act on all these feelings right now. I'm in a total rut. I'm battling what I truly wish to do, all with what's considered "appropriate" and I should be doing. Which explains the complete spook...
...Confused? Take a number, Suburbians! Here's the thing; He's not a dickhead nor a player. He's subtle and so sweet. This's the absolute worst timing. I guess timing is everything as Miranda Hobbes would nod in total agreement. But, I'm not condemned from wondering. Could it happen ... Will it happen?