"Time After Time : Part Deux"

Alrighty, Suburbians ... "Half-Done Molly" ( I'm aware you'll probably find all of this quite childish, but, I'm slowly but surely writing to a ending unexpected/unpredictable so bare with the story ). "Half-Done Molly" was obviously a childish nickname, which was given to me one seemingly ordinary day in Math Class. Mr. G, who had given me my favorite nickname I still carry ( Molly Dolly ), too gave the least favorite - Who would've figured a stupid nickname would wind up leaving my whole life in shambles?

I was struggling in Math at the time ... Especially with a particular formula that we were working on ( I don't remember it now to be honest, ha ). Regardless, I do remember how it had confused the fuck out of me, thus I put a series of bullshit responses on the homework and completely gave up halfway through it. While checking over the work with a fine-tooth comb in Class, I magically had a light bulb moment and understood everything, a bit late but whatever. You'd think I would be golden after that, right? Nah, of course not - Mr. G opted to teach a shortcut that's within the formula ( Really, though? ), and of course, I was back to the drawing board with not a damn clue what to do with what was in front of me.

Mr. G had us work on a sheet anticipating the usage of the new shortcut way, and once the predetermined allotted time to work had ended, he would select students to answer a problem. I had used the original formula because I was clueless with the new shortcut one and got only, you guessed right, halfway done with the sheet. When Mr. G chose me to answer a question I had not yet answered, I had to tell him I was only halfway finished ( Couldn't get outta that one ), and so kindly ( Yea, right ) he opted to call me "Half-Done Molly" which had sparked everything.

The Class loved the nickname, and repeatedly called me it ... Especially our buddy ( Ha ), Fuck-You-Drew. He wouldn't let it go. Eventually, Mr. G was able to calm down the class. However, that doesn't imply that they had stopped altogether. I, being the weakling I was way back when, began to cry. Nobody had noticed it though, I was crying from within at that point, and I'm far too experienced at hiding emotions. Then, Mr. G had called on me. Again.

Thankfully, I was prepared and provided the correct answer. Although I refused to let anyone see how I was severely hurting, while answering my voice cracked...

Everyone began staring at me - And, you would think they'd stop. While some did, others, *Cough* Drew *Cough*, unfortunately, didn't. He wouldn't stop. I couldn't hold the tears at that point. Finally, the bell rang, which signaled that Math Class was officially over ... I was out of there before anybody even stood up, you couldn't see my smoke. I dashed to English Class, immediately requesting I'd be excused to the bathroom. The teacher was quite concerned, considering I was near bawling, thus allowing me to go. I was able to calm myself and collect my thoughts, returning to English ten minutes or so into the period. Sadly, Drew was in that class, too. Ugh.

Nothing had happened, until the end. See, I was with my friends, who surprisingly made me smile. Everything was alright, until I heard, "Hey, Half-Done Molly!". I began bursting into tears. Thankfully the bell had rang, I was outty yet again, and I did not see Drew for the remainder of the day - But, I did have a run-in with the Guidance Counselor. He had found me while I was walking the halls to inform me he had spoke with G, who delivers his sincerest apologies, although he could not foresee a negative result. G later apologized in person. I forgave him.

The Guidance Counselor, too, spoke with Drew and his Merry Band of Complete Assholes. Ultimately, they were ordered to apologize and to cut the shit with Molly. But they're yet to apologize. Unfortunately, regardless the childishness, I crave an apology in order to locate closure within that portion of the problem. However, I think that ship sailed, so I've got not a choice but to eventually find another way ( Like Blogging it as I'm doing right now ). And, but a few months ago, Drew had the balls to call me "Half-Done Molly". All I did was glare while I reminisced. I was and still am proud of myself.

I had refused speaking to him after the initial incident for awhile. Eventually, I began speaking with him, and a friendship was evolving. Which, I'm positive you can predetermine, was quite a big mistake. I shouldn't have let him into my world once more, but I did. Everything was swell for quite a while. A lotta peeps expected us to go long-term at one point. Actually, a Social was approaching and I was hoping he would ask me. But shortly thereafter, something completely unexpected had happened.

He had got a girlfriend, which wasn't me ... This's where the vulnerability began, I felt undesirable. Therefore falling into the arms of the first man who opened them up to me. If I had considered allowing 'ole Fuck-You-Drew back into my life once more as a 'big mistake', boy was I in for a rude awakening...

"Time After Time : Part Une"

So, I've been slowly but surely telling you tidbits of my personal life...
...But, there comes a time where a gal needs to free herself from the shackles of her own inhibition. For the first time ever, I'm going to be completely honest and straightforward, while I pour my heart out as I speak of my most vulnerable moment and my greatest heartbreak of them all. Now, I will let everything out...
...In "When The Crusher Gets Crushed" I briefly spoke of this experience, but I was holding back. I'm here now to confide in my Suburbians, because for one, this blog's my safe place, and for two, I honestly want all of my beloved fans and readers to know of this time in my life. They say there's a fine line between love and hate, and I've experienced it firsthand...

Where all of this began was years ago - I attended a birthday party with a then great friend of mine. For an odd unknown reason, I wound up in her bedroom with three other dudes (The door was wide open, don't go near the gutter). Apparently I missed the piece of the invitation where making fun of my size was on the itinerary, and while in the room, they did such. Evidently, you can't be super skinny and short too. Another thing that was short was my temper, and I lashed out on the nearest guy. Now as I think back, he didn't ever fight back in any way. He took it, literally lying down. I finally stopped because his little sister came in and started crying ; I felt guilty ... Let's call this guy 'Drew'.
 

Sometime later during the party, Drew and the two other guys locked me in the same room that I had attacked Drew in, along with themselves. After realizing they wouldn't let me out until I heard them out, I figured it best to listen to all their apologies. I don't quite remember my reaction but I suspect it wasn't great, seeing how I began to hate Drew's existence.
 

We were placed in the same English class ... He kept talking to me and joking of my name since my last name starts with an 'M' as well. Apparently, it was also hysterical to shout in the hallway or during a game of not-so-mum-ball (A game that involves of course a ball and "quietness"). Through it all, I still hated his guts and the hate grew larger - It was the next year that everything changed ... And I do mean EVERYTHING.

We were placed in the same Math class with the same English immediately following it - Almost everything worth mentioning had happened in Math...
...We had a great teacher, who shall be called Mr. G. Mr. G had presented assigned seats ; I couldn't complain about mine. He's actually the one who started "Molly Dolly", the nickname that I've carried for years now ... But, that had sparked something that I'll get to later on in writing.

Per the chart, Drew was seated two rows away from me - But, for some reason, he wasn't happy with that. Drew was the ultimate opportunist at sitting closer to me. Few months into the year, the student in front of the individual next to me moved away, (Wow, confusing much?), so Drew ceased the opportunity to sit there as Mr. G didn't have any objections. With any chance he got, he relentlessly annoyed the hell out of me. As the days passed by, something had changed ... I caught a wave of completely different feelings for him ; The hatred had evolved into dare I even say it, love? The sudden emotions only intensified when the gal who sat next to me moved too, and he took her spot...
...The flirting had only increased, but I suppose that was completely alright at the time - I was an otherwise foolish girl with a major crush, but we've all been there. I was happy, until my love interest bit me right on the ass, and from shortly then on did the worst moment of my whole entire life occur, which to this very day, continuously haunts me...
...The reason for the Labyrinth surrounding my heart.

"Half-Done Molly" ... A seemingly childish name calling - But I grew so vulnerable, and wound up in the arms of a particular man who hurt me in a way I never thought possible ; Unimaginable vulnerability from childish teasing lead me down a path, which ended in personal violation, the closing of my heart and a massive lack of utter trust...

As you can already see, this's going to be a ridiculously long post ... So, depending on how much the second part tells, shall determine if there's need for part three. The Second Part's coming soon. Yes, I opted to end this with a cliffhanger - Until next time, my beloved Suburbians!