Everybody has had to cope with getting over someone else ... From personal experience and observation, I'm fully aware of how difficult it is, and that it completely blows. It's quite a lengthy process and at times, it'll feel as if they've somehow imprinted themselves into the back of your mind permanently. Moving on from someone else really takes time, and it's impossible to do without valiant effort, but I'm here fully willing to attempt and help you through it...
Step Zero: First, fully understand what your feelings are for this particular person. I don't think I have to tell you, that the more you feel, the harder this process will be for you. However, if you only had a minor crush on this person, or it's a celebrity that you aren't even close to that you don't have a shot with by any means, there's a simple solution laid out for you - Simply accept the fact that yous will never ever be together and deal with it. On the contrary, if you were in love with this person, then continue reading this posting (There's a reason that this is step zero.)
Step One: Accept and come to terms with the fact that you cannot or you can no longer be with this person. I'm aware that it may come across as silly or even tomfoolery, but it could serve as a major help saying things out loud, or even possibly going to a friend and telling them that you really want to get over (s)he ... That you know that yous can no longer be together and you're willing to start attempting moving on from them. Saying these things out loud can somehow cement them into your mind, or at least this has proven to work for me. You could never truly get over another person without first accepting things for what it is they are in reality.
Step Two: Disposing of any pictures of you two together is definitely a must, especially the ones where you both look happy, or even the ones of them alone looking great/sexy. Also, do something with, or even give back anything gifted to you by them or left in your possession ... Do something with the jewelry, remove the romantically mushy cards, take down those picture frames and settle the dispute over the cat. These things will most likely continuously remind you of the happy times you shared together and the memories of love, which could make this process even more challenging for you - Unless you choose to keep certain things in your possession as a relationship keepsake/souvenir. In which case, you keep whatever you choose. Anyhow, it's far better settling these things now under a mutual agreement as opposed to waiting.
Step Three: Learn the methods of finally forgiving this person for whatever heartache/wrong they've caused you ... Even in the event of someone who cheated on you - (Unless they're simply heartless scumbags or especially abusers.) Periodically, they'll find their way back into your life in odd manners from time to time. When that happens, it's far better to be on decent terms, as opposed to simply drowning in your despise for that person. If you share mutual friends, think about them and the position they're in. It's much easier for them not having to pick sides, because then they get swept underneath this emotional frenzy and it's highly unlikely anybody will come out unscathed. It'll definitely seem exceptionally difficult, and it'll never be how it was if you were friends with your ex prior to being exclusive, or even being best friends because of your extensive past with them.
Step Four: It's imperative you spend quality time with your close friends. Especially those friends who attain a rocking blog and also have knowledge in this department ... But, in all seriousness, your friends are extremely important for you at this time. You must realize that you, yourself are very important and that you simply weren't meant to be with this person. Spend some quality girl time discussing how it is that you feel, getting all of those pent-up tears out, even if you're one who doesn't tend to do that sorta thing. And if you're a dude ... Do what guys usually do at these times, spend time with your buddies, doing those things that make you the happiest that can also relieve you of stress. Or, you can ask my close friend and writer of my brother blog, Sex And The Small Town for some advice, assistance and help.
Step Five: Finally getting yourself back into the dating whirlpool. Getting yourself a new beau or belle could really help you speed up the process of moving on from your ex once and for all. But, wait the standard three months before doing this, allotting yourself an adequate amount of time to begin growing comfortable with the idea of having somebody new. This person will inevitably be your transition back into dating and relationships ... Be sure that you're ready to give it another go, there's no need to rush anything if you still need some time, or if you simply desire time to yourself as a single individual (Sometimes, in a place such as New York where everyone's dying to couple-up, there is nothing better than being out of a relationship.) However, try and avoid the one night stand gig - It's emotionally dangerous and it won't serve as any help to you, it could even have the potential to make things worse for you during this time. Anywho, the comfort of someone new can definitely help easing you back into things once more ... As long as you don't make the crucial mistake of comparing your new lover to your former one. That's usually a dangerous practice, which'll leave you fixating on the past and what could have been, which'll ultimately lead up to you nitpicking your new partner to shreds. Long story short, simply embrace your new love, leaving your past where it belongs behind you...
Who really knows? - On one seemingly ordinary day with infinite possibilities, awakening to realize you're over an ex may be one of them. That's exactly what happened to me after all ... I saw him, just like I'm forced to on a daily basis due to school, and I felt absolutely nothing for him anymore. My heart wasn't beating abnormally fast or anything remotely similar to it, such as sinking. That's when I finally realized, I moved on, I was officially set free from the pain and reminders of him. I then understood how nothing was ever permanent, and I said hello to the new and improved me. I'd now like to wish you the best of luck on your illustrious journey of getting over a former lover.
